People who write terribly.

I have become much more tolerant this year, okay? I am able to tolerate all manner of dumb people now, and also people who refuse to use the brains God gave them and the education they received in school and type like a literate.

I know it might be shocking that there are people out there who appear to be illiterate. They certainly don't show up on the Internet very often. Most people in America have gone through years of schooling, Kindergarten to senior year, etc. It makes no sense for them to suddenly forget all their education the moment they touch a keyboard.

I used to think these people were stupid and awful and not worthy of my attention.

ppl who rite liket his

and people who write like this with no periods or commas

though occasionally they use a lot of punctuation!!!!!!

and smileys :) :) :) 8DDDDDDD

to express their feelings

But I've narrowed down my list of people who don't speak English correctly to only two types that actually drive me down the hall.

• People who use punctuation and everything except for capital letters
• People who don't try at all

I think it's fine to drag out the last letter of a word if you're really feelinggggggg ittttt. I think it's fine to type in ALL CAPS if you're ANGRY. I have become a different person! except not really.

There are still those few who can drive me insane by the way they type. Some of those are those horrible people who can use every key on their keyboard EXCEPT the shift key.

they can use periods correctly. they can use commas, if there's need for one. sometimes, they branch out into some fancier punctuation; i've even seen them use semicolons. but no matter what you do, they never seem to capitalize the first words of sentences. they don't even capitalize the letter i.

People who type like that are pretentious assholes.

That is the first thing I think. I mean, maybe I get to know them and they're actually an all right person. Maybe I get to know them and they're really fabtastic. But my first impression is always that a person who types like that is just being pretentious. There is no reason for them to type that way.

Also, people who just don't care. I used to think they were butchering the English language and stuff. But then I spent a while talking to my wife the way they do, or at least the way we think they do. And it made me realize something:

Typing like that is incredibly lazy.

I'm serious. You don't have to TRY at all. If you don't know what to say, you can just dash off a lol yeah and pay attention to someone else. You hardly need to spend any of your attention on them. You can talk to like five people at a time because you're not actually involved in any of the conversations.

I used to think, "Well, they're obviously dumb if they want to talk like that. Why should I waste my time on them?" when people did that to me.

Now I think, "Well, they obviously don't want to waste their time on me. Why should I waste my time on them?"

Except I just DID waste my time on them by writing this post.